The Teams Rappin' Orgy

Part I

2008-05-16T11:20:00.001-04:00

Well, this is it. The extensive and, dare I say it, definitive exploration of large groups of men who could easily kill me making giant asses of themselves for our amusement, brought to you by that most cultured of media, student radio. And don't think this is some simple little survey of teams rappin' - we go through the history
of the genre, trace the epic East and West Coast divide that almost destroyed the art form, explore its relationship with grunge, and just generally ram this topic into the ground like no one has before.

But first, a very brief FAQ...

1. What were they thinking?

All will be revealed within! (Except for the rest of the FAQ, which will be revealed here.)

2. OK, but what were you thinking?

I love ridiculousness in all its forms. What more noble purpose could I have?

3. Why is it called an "orgy"? You clearly have never participated in anything even remotely resembling that.

From Wikipedia: "Orgies (the term is a registered trademark of the station) are consecutive presentations of the entire musical output of composers, record labels, or genres, sometimes running 24 hours a day for a solid week or more. Station legend has it that these began when an exuberant undergraduate in 1943 decided to celebrate his passing a difficult exam by broadcasting all nine Beethoven symphonies in order."

As to why they're actually called orgies? I'm guessing sexual frustration on just a truly massive scale. Not that I'd know anything about that.

4. Did you do any research?

Kind of. I'd like to think I've uncovered and brought together in one place more videos than anyone else has previously managed to (likely being the first person to ever try to do this probably helps). At the same time, I'm still not really sure about specific years; indeed, I went by Wikipedia's claim that the 49ers song was from 1984 until the presence of Jerry Rice and Bill Romanowski somewhat disproved that. Of course, I didn't realize this until after I had played the song in the orgy. So a bit of a guarded yes there, I'd say.

5. Do you know anything about hip-hop?

No, but I'm willing to learn. Also, my partner in crime on this orgy is legitimately the most knowledgeable person I've ever met on the subject of hip-hop. I, on the other hand, don't know how to pronounce "Aaliyah" (or "machismo", for that matter).

6. Did you really ask Colts president Bill Polian about whether we could expect him to lead the Colts in an all-new team rap?

Yes. I am not expecting to intern at the Colts anytime soon.

OK, that's more than enough. Let's get to this...

Part I: The Standard Bearer*

*Pun only slightly intended.

1. The Super Bowl Shuffle: 1985 Chicago Bears

Part II

2008-05-16T11:19:00.001-04:00

Part II: A History Lesson

2. We Are The 49ers: 1989 San Francisco 49ers

3. Cuz The Blue Wave Is On A Roll: 1985 Seattle Seahawks

4. Husky Proud: 1986 Holmes High Huskies

5. Uh Oh, The Jaguars Super Bowl Song: 1999 Jacksonville Jaguars

6. Fear Da Tiger: 2005 Cincinnati Bengals

Part III

2008-05-16T11:18:00.001-04:00

Part III: West Coast Style - The Los Angeles School

7. Baseball Boogie: 1986 Los Angeles Dodgers

8. Silver and Black Attack: 1986 Los Angeles Raiders

9. Just Say No: 1982 Los Angeles Lakers

Part IV

2008-05-16T11:17:00.001-04:00

Part IV: East Coast Style - The Florida School

10. Seminole Rap - 1988 FSU Seminoles

11. Can't Touch Us - 1991 Miami Dolphins

And now an interview with Nathan Rabin of the A.V. Club...

12. The Seventh Floor Crew - 2004 Miami Hurricanes

If you simply must hear it, it's here.

Parts V-VI

2008-05-16T11:16:00.001-04:00

Part V: A Wholesome Alternative - The Dallas Cowboys Christmas Song Dynasty

13. Christmas In Dallas: 1986 Dallas Cowboys

14. I Don't Want To Be Home Christmas: 1985 Dallas Cowboys

15. Twelve Days of Christmas: 1985 Dallas Cowboys

Part VI: Prelude and Postlude To Grunge - The Portland Trailblazers

16. Can I Get A Headband: 2000 Portland Trailblazers

17. It Ain't Easy: 2000 Portland Trailblazers

18. Bust A Bucket: 1992 Portland Trailblazers

Parts VII-IX

2008-05-16T11:15:00.017-04:00

Part VII: Absurdity Without Borders

19. We Are From Glasgow: 1986 Glasgow Diamonds

20. Wildcat Rap: 1989 Perth Wildcats

Part VIII: Talking 'Bout the Future with Bill Polian

Part IX: The Alpha and the Omega*

*Well, technically just the omega, but c'mon...Ram It is pretty damn impressive regardless.